would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
