And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
