My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
