There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
