I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
