I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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