Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just high enough for therapy.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
