You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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