love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
