Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
