Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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