Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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