there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
