she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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