Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
