Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
