you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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