Nicole vs. Life
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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