Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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