i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
