This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a hot homeless man
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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