sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
