3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
