exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
