so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
