His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
