I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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