Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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