exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize