The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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