New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
