You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
