Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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