You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
