"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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