well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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