Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
