my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
