just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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