I'm eating all of the evidence.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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