This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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