I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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