you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
