It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
