Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
