Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
