I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
