Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
