I wish I could punch you in the face.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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