I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize