I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
