Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
