So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
