You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
