Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
