Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She bit a glass in half.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Randomize
