problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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