i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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