Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
