arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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