Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize