Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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