Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
