Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
