Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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