You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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