Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
