I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
