If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
