I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I will pee on everything he values.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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