anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
