when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
