ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
