my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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