Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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