ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
