I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
