The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
